Can Purell be used as lube?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
