i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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