Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
