we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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