How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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