talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
