I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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