hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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