Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
