You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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