Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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