No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
