hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
