She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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