I think scott just propositioned me for sex
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
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i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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