YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
