I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize