very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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