We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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