The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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