But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
