is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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