I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
