Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
