no. you can't hotbox the world.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
