Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
