Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
