I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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