I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
