Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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