Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
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I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
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I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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