Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
