You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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