Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
