Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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