After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
