do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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