Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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