since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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