did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
