jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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