I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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