whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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