You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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