i can't believe i had my finger in that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
