fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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