Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
