you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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