so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize