i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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