I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
