break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
