So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
should my penis look like a turkey
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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