Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
