I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
