Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
