You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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