i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
