Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize