STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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