Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
