I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
