my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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