She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will pee on everything he values.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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