I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
