Porn is love you can see.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the condom got lost in my hair
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
