how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
