Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
