Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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