when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
