I just made out with a guy for $7.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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